Clinical Geriatrics

As many as 44 million Americans care for older parents, in-laws, grandparents and other older loved ones.

Some older adults need only a little assistance from family caregivers; for example, help with shoveling snow, or rides to and from the grocery store. Others need a lot of help with daily activities like eating, bathing, dressing, taking medications and managing money. Over time, an older adult often needs increasing help from caregivers.

While caring for an older family member can be one of the most rewarding experiences of a lifetime, it can also be stressful and frustrating. This is especially likely if the older adult has dementia or needs around-the-clock care. Most family caregivers are spouses or children. They may have age-related health problems of their own; or they may have small children to care for, or work outside the home, or all of these. Sometimes, providing care for an older relative can be extremely distressing and lead to “caregiver burnout.”

To avoid caregiver burnout, it’s important to get help before caregiving becomes overwhelming. If you’re caring for an older loved one, the American Geriatrics Society’s Foundation for Health in Aging suggests that you:

Get information. Learn as much as you can about your older loved one’s health problems and needs and how these are likely to change over time. This will help you plan and prepare for these changes. Learning about options for care that your loved one may need in the future – such as help from a home aide, or assisted living or nursing home care – can also help you prepare for and feel more secure about your loved one’s future.

The FHA’s award-winning, easy-to-read guide, Eldercare at Home, includes a wealth of information on caring for an aging loved one. You can find a free, printable version of Eldercare at Home on the Internet, at http://www.healthinaging.org/public_education/eldercare/

Help your loved one help himself or herself. Doing something as simple as putting a special, no-slip seat in the shower or bath; installing “grab bars” in the bathroom and near your loved one’s bed: moving kitchen supplies to lower shelves; or getting easy-grip can openers and other utensils can make it possible for an older relative to keep doing certain things independently.

Ask trustworthy family, friends and neighbors for assistance. Perhaps a neighbor can take your mother to the grocery store once a week, or your sister could help make meals for mom on weekends. Explain what needs to be done, but try not to criticize if others don’t care for your loved one in exactly the way you would. The important thing is that his or her needs are met.

Take care of yourself, too. Eating well, exercising, and taking time to relax and enjoy yourself are key to avoiding burnout. If you taking care of yourself you’ll be able to take better care of your aging family member.

Don’t take it personally. If your older relative has dementia or other mental or emotional problems, he or she may act out or say hurtful things. Remind yourself that this behavior is a result of his or her illness. Try not to take it to heart.

Talk about it. Talking about your experiences and feelings can make care giving less stressful. Joining a caregiver support group in your area will give you a chance to share your thoughts, feelings and information with others in similar circumstances.

Contact professionals and organizations that assist caregivers. A wide array of programs, agencies, organizations, and individuals in your community can help you manage the challenges of caring for an older relative. This assistance may be free, or available at low cost.

The following agencies and people can help you find the help you need:

• Your local Area Agency on Aging is your best resource.